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Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs

>> Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Today's Guest Article is by Elizabeth from The Divine Gift of Motherhood.


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"Messenger: The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs”, is written by Jeni Stepanek, mother of the hero of the book, with Larry Lindner. It includes a foreword by Maya Angelou. It was released on November 3, 2009, by Dutton, a division of Penguin Books.

Mattie J.T. Stepanek was this amazing kid who just happened to suffer from a rare disorder that later came to be known as Dysautonomic Mitochondrial Myopathy. His three siblings all died by the age of four of the same disorder, and his mother was diagnosed with the adult onset form after having given birth to them. They are the only five people ever diagnosed with this particular form of the disorder.

Told from the first person, Jeni is one of the main characters of the book, as the mother who cared for her son and supported his efforts, yet Mattie is the focus. She sees him as a gift from God and is thankful for the time she was able to share with him and her other children on this earth.

From the beginning you know that he is going to die at the age of thirteen, and the suspense of the reader in seeing how he is going to live his life in between crises, and when he is going to die, is a faint echo of what you know Jeni and Mattie lived through in real life time. Jeni is very descriptive of all that they went through, but the book is much larger than that.

From an early age, Mattie defied the doctors’ predictions, so that eventually they gave up saying there was no hope and just let him go the course. He taught himself to read and write, and was so far ahead of his age peers in school that homeschooling became the best option for him. By middle school he was attending a local college for his coursework.

By the age of three he was writing poetry, and became a bestselling author. He published six collections of Heartsongs poetry and one collection of peace essays. “Heartsong” is a word he coined for a person’s essence. He believed that everyone should share their heartsongs with each other to make the world a better place. His poetry and his life work were all for the purpose of spreading the message of peace and hope.

He was the National Goodwill Ambassador for Jerry Lewis’s Muscular Dystrophy Association for three years in a row, traveling along with his all his life support equipment to give inspirational talks to large audiences and appear on television programs such as Larry King Live and Oprah Winfrey. His final project was assisting Jimmy Carter in the writing of the book “Just Peace”.

The book features never-before-published essays and poems from Mattie’s journals, as well as e-mail exchanges between him and one of his best friends, Oprah Winfrey.

I had a few reservations about the book that I feel I must disclose to the Catholic reading audience. Jeni, herself a Catholic, chose to leave an abusive marriage; divorce is mentioned but not an annulment. Mattie’s best friends are also some of the more liberal celebrities. If you are not a fan of Oprah, you might get tired of reading all of her supportive emails to Mattie. You may not agree with the choices of books and movies Mattie enjoys.

There is one story on p. 203 that gave me pause. Someone asks Mattie if they can put a “Celebrate Diversity” sticker on the back of his wheelchair. When a nurse and close friend explains to him and Jeni that it is a “gay pride” sticker and that people might think he is gay, he chooses to leave it because “God’s love includes all people”. I understand his point of view, but Jeni goes further in stating in the book, “So many people who are antigay point to the Bible to support the opinion that homosexuality is a sin. But Mattie understood that the Bible had to be read with an eye toward historical and cultural context.”

Other than that, the book is profoundly pro-life. The doctors all begged her to get an abortion; she would not. They told her to put Mattie in an institution; she chose to be his mother. She chose to let him live his life as much as he could, and went to great lengths to allow him to see his vision through. When it came to the end of his life, she allowed him the dignity to take part in the decisions about heroic life-saving measures. She and others made sure that all of his wishes were carried out when he was buried. They honored his life through continuing to carry on his message to the world.

Dutton sent me a preview copy of the book in exchange for my honest review. I have to admit that, when I read the description, I was not too excited about it. It sounded like a depressing topic, and I usually like to read to escape reality for a while. But I took the assignment and was glad I did. Other than the reservations I have mentioned, I recommend this book as a tribute to a great young soul with a message of hope and peace.

For more about Mattie and his life see his tribute website.

For ordering information see Dutton Publishing at Penguin Books.

Today's guest article is by Elizabeth from The Divine Gift of MotherhoodElizabeth also writes as the columnist for The Long Island Motherhood Examiner.

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Have you blogged about Catholic themed crafts or projects?

>> Thursday, November 12, 2009

I am working on a project and would love to see your blog/website links to Catholic themed crafts or projects. Anything from May Day crownings to clover shaped St. Patrick's Day cookies to making mission rosaries to, well, who knows! But, maybe you know! So, I hope you'll leave me some links.

Thanks!

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New Blog Roll Members: November 8, 2009

>> Sunday, November 8, 2009

Welcome to our newest blog roll members!  Please take a moment to visit one or two of them and welcome them to our blog roll community.  Thanks!




















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Advertise on Catholic Mothers Online

>> Monday, October 26, 2009

We are about to add some paid advertising spots on the Catholic Mothers Online blog.  This could be for advertising a website, Etsy shop, product, or your very own personal blog!

They will be very reasonably priced at the present time (just $10/month or $8/month if paying for three months at once), which will include a 125x125 pixel button spot near the top of the blog sidebar.  This also includes a link at the bottom of our feed, so that even feed readers will see your ad.  These rates will likely go up in the future, and there are a limited number available. 

We do reserve the right, however, to only accept ads that would be approriate for our blog and its audience. 

Please contact Angie for more information.

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Non-Violent Halloween Costume Ideas

>> Saturday, October 24, 2009

Today's guest article is from Deltaflute from My Twisted Life's Journey
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Pacifism, I feel, is very much a part of our Catholic faith.  The Catholic Workers Movement and Pax Christi are two prominent organizations that “fight” against violence and oppression.  Jesus also speaks of “turning the other cheek.“  As a pacifist, Halloween is a difficult time of year for me.  Many of the Halloween costumes are equipped with weapons and blood.  The holiday is about honoring the dead; it’s not supposed to be about guns and guts.

I’m having a baby boy in January, and in the next few years, I’m going to have to talk about non-violence extensively.  Little boys enjoy violent fantasies.  Games like “bad guys vs. good guys” with imaginary guns are very common.  Many super heroes use violence as a means to “keep the peace.”  I won't allow violent figures or play weapons in my house even though my husband thinks that I‘ve gone too far.  I know that rough housing and drawing pictures of killing “bad guys” is perfectly normal, but I want to use those times to talk about resolving conflicts in non-violent ways.  I would be wrong to equate my son’s violent fantasies with real-life conflicts, so I think the best way to handle the situation is to give him latitude as long as he understands that these fantasies can’t happen in real life. 

I’m also concerned that he’s going to feel left out because I won’t allow him to choose violent characters for his Halloween costumes.  Play guns, play knives, and play swords are included in a lot of children's costumes.  I've tried to do a Internet search on costumes that are non-violent, and since I couldn't find a specific list, I decided to compose my own.  My list isn’t gender or age specific so I would suggest anyone who reads the list to keep this in mind.

Famous People: Elvis, the President, the Pope, Cleopatra, Hanna Montana, Jonas Brothers

Professionals: doctor, nurse, veterinarian, firemen, teacher, lawyer, librarian, nun, race car driver, sports outfits (baseball, soccer, etc), astronaut, pilot, rock n' roller

Cultural costumes:
Roman in toga, hippy, cowboy/girl without the gun (substitute a rope), Geisha, Native American, Pilgrim, disco, any country’s traditional garb

Traditional Halloween costumes: pumpkin, bat, cat, ghost*, skeleton*, angel

*note:  These costumes are common for the Day of the Dead.  I don’t condone turning them into something scary with gore or blood.

Funny costumes: clown, juggler, acrobat, magician,

Nature costumes:
pumpkin, flower, gourd,

Food costumes: cup cakes, (well any food really)

Animals: most pacifists would deem that all animals are acceptable even predators, I would stay away from fake blood, think cats and rabbits for girls, dinosaurs for boys

Myths: unicorn, fairy, good witch, wizard, gnome, alien, king, elf, hobbit

TV, Movies, Books: Bob the Builder, Harry Potter*, Dorothy, Madeleine, Nemo, Ariel, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Thomas the Train, High School Musical characters, Lightning McQueen, Scooby-Doo, Curious George, Super Why characters, Veggie Tales characters, Backyardigans characters, Cat in the Hat

*note:  While Harry tends to resolve his conflicts with a wand, he doesn’t use kill blows and casts defensive spells.  It’s up to the pacifistic mom or dad to decide whether Harry uses an acceptable way of defending himself in the face of imminent death or if he is still too violent.  Some parents may decide to leave out Harry because they feel uncomfortable about characters who use magic.  Harry Potter may be a better suited costume for teenagers who can discern the difference between defense and violence as well as real and fantasy.

I also have a few tips for those parents who want to avoid a fight with their child over Halloween costumes.  I know that I’m not a parent yet, but these are ideas I’ve given/received while working at a day care center.  Most day care centers do not allow play weapons. 

A good way to come up with non-violent costumes is to have your child choose his or her favorite book or movie. Then build a costume around their choice.  Most movies like Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Spider Man, Bat Man, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Transformers are rated PG or PG-13.  Most G movies don't have any violent content, so young children won't be given the option to choose a violent character.  Be careful about some super heroes in G rated movies or some books.  They do not tend to resolve their conflicts peacefully. 

Teens have to be given more freedom to choose their costume.  If they choose a violent costume, try having a discussion with them about alternatives.  Strongly discuss how disturbing the costume is and why.  If they still persist, you have at least talked to them about non-violence.  Many older teens aren't big into trick-or-treating anyway. They enjoy haunted houses which is an opportunity to discuss real violence vs. fantasy violence.  They also like handing out candy to young trick-or-treaters or taking younger children out to trick-or-treat.  Teens are better equipped to understand fantasy vs. real-violence and to learn about what Halloween is: a religious holiday.  However, I think discussing real violence vs. fantasy violence with teenagers is still important even though they probably know the difference.  Violent videos of teenagers beating each other up are being posted on the Internet everyday, so I don‘t believe the message is being spread
 equally. 

I hope that this article has helped you choose a Halloween costume for your child this year or given you a moment to pause and think about what Jesus felt about peace and non-violence.  Jesus is the ultimate super hero.  Wear reflector tape, carry a flashlight, and have a safe and non-violent Halloween this year.  God bless.  

View my blog "My Twisted Life's Journey":  http://deltaflute.blogspot.com

photo by  dchrisoh

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New Blog Roll Members: October 24, 2009

Welcome to our newest blog roll members!  Please drop by to say hi and welcome them to the blog roll!








 

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Let Me Tell You One Thing About Order

>> Friday, October 9, 2009

Guest post from Leila at Like Mother, Like Daughter 

 
So last time when I talked about Order and Wonder, did you get a kind of anxiety attack, as if you thought I was saying that something like thisis what I had in mind?

Don't be silly. :)Order means first things first. So... yes, of course, stuff like making sure the kids are fed and keeping things neat and tidy.

{Long ago we had a next-door neighbor who would come over (he was about the age of my parents) and first thing neaten up all the reading material on my coffee table, which was a lot -- magazines, mail, books, everything just thrown on there.

Since it wasn't like thisI thought it wasn't worth making look nice. (Not that I like that ugly thing.)

But he would make tidy stacks of all my stuff, and then sit down and chat with me. (He was a funny guy.)

You know what -- it made my living room look instantly better!}

Anyway, I was going to tell you a very important step towards getting Order and Wonder for your home and family.

You are probably already doing this, but maybe you haven't quite realized how important it is and will be in the future for your life together.

If there were one thing I would tell a young family --

one thing I would tell a family that was having trouble --

one thing I would tell a family on the brink of splitting up --

one thing I would tell a family that was worried about the teens --

one practical thing I would tell any family --


Make Sundays a day of rest.And only the mother can really make this happen, week in and week out. Only the mother can make it possible for the crazy activities to stop, for the family to worship together, and for the family to sit down together for a meal. The father can want all these things, and ask for them, but if the mother doesn't make the practical effort, they won't happen.

And if the mother isn't enjoying herself, no one is.

Anyway, we don't have a blog called Like Father, Like Son. We're talking to YOU.

So yes, it's another thing you have to do! But it's the best thing.

Even if Dad has to work a shift on Sunday, even if the kids have soccer, even if there is so much laundry that if you missed this day you would never be found again under a mountain of dirty clothes, do something to make the day -- at some point-- a real day of the Lord.Now, some Sundays that might mean a real old-fashioned Sunday dinner after Church with plenty of relaxation in the form of reading the paper, visiting with extended family, and playing games.Some Sundays it might mean an early Mass with the day spent burning brush and enjoying the sunshine after a long winter.Not to mention any families that might have spent a recent Sunday this way, and enjoyed every moment of it! {Note our two-toned house? One side a year, baby :) }You might have roast beef; you might have leftovers. You might have friends over, you might be "just us". It might be brunch, it might be a late supper.

But you all sit down together, light a candle or two, and take a deep breath. (You might sit down on a blanket after a hike and have a picnic!)

Correct your children's manners during the week, and try not to do too much correcting at the Sunday meal!

Try to enjoy.You might spend the whole afternoon visiting Grandma at assisted living or helping neighbors build their porch.I don't care what you do. I don't care if you don't have nice china. I don't care if this has to happen at 7 am or 8 pm to happen at all. I don't care if it's just an hour out of the whole day.The point is to make this day a day different from the others. And if you prayerfully do this, however modestly and humbly (well, of course you should do it humbly, but you know what I mean, I hope!), you will see God's blessings showering on you and your family.

Things you have been anxious about will become peaceful. Together you will make calm decisions about things that have been troubling you.

I promise.

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New Blog Roll Members: October 7, 2009

>> Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Welcome to our newest blog roll members!  Be sure to stop by and say hi to them.












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New Blog Roll Members: September 20, 2009

>> Sunday, September 20, 2009

Be sure to stop by and visit some of the new blog roll members!









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