How I came to start the Catholic Mothers Online blog roll

This posting also appears on my regular blog Many Little Blessings, but I thought it was appropriate to post it here as well.
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It was last year around this time when I was getting farther into blogging (having started in December 2006), and I was on the look out for a blog roll for Catholic women (I was, of course, just about to become a Catholic woman last year at this time). Unfortunately, no matter what search words I was putting in or where I looked, I just didn't seem to be coming across anything.

I then found a Christian blog roll that looked interesting, and I decided to sign up. However, as I read through the belief requirements, I realized that this list did not include Catholics. I read through it again, and remembered the very specific wording used on one requirement (I can't, unfortunately, recall it now) that reminded me of hearing of the Protestant Reformation in history classes. So, I was sad, but I didn't try to join, obviously. It was just shortly after that that I found out another blogger I knew (who is Catholic) was specifically denied membership because she was Catholic.

I became not only sad, but angry. I remember thinking, still a Protestant at that point for another week or so, "How can you abandon me? I have been one of you my whole life. How can you deny me being on a Christian blog roll just because I now want to be a Catholic Christian?"

This made my search become more furious for a blog roll for Catholics. And, I felt like I was coming up empty handed.

Late one night with this heavy on my mind and heart, I sat in one of the recliners in my living room with my computer on my lap. I puttered around the Internet, and then I heard a voice that spoke to me through my heart. "If there is no blog roll that's right, start one yourself."

"I don't know how," I answered. "Besides, what if nobody joins and then we look stupid? It will look like proof that there shouldn't be a Catholic women's blog roll."

The voice in my heart urged me forward, "Trust Me. I am with you, and you need to trust Me. I want you to do this."

"I don't know how," I answered again. Because, well...I didn't. Not even a little bit.

"You'll figure it out," I was told. "Now...go get busy. Figure it out."

And, that's what I did. For hours on end after the kids all went to sleep, I worked on it. I looked at other blog rolls, I studied coding that I might be able to tweak, and I experienced a whole lot of trial and error.

I was blessed to not only have the voice that spoke through my heart each night to push me along, but also very sweet and encouraging postings in my comments from Rosemary at A Catholic Mother's Thoughts. Surely the Holy Spirit was working through her to help me along.

I will admit, I felt guilty at this point. I was working on all the details like a maniac throughout Holy Week. I thought to myself, "I should be in prayer. I shouldn't be sitting here working on JavaScript coding." I thought this many times until then the voice in my heart said, "I asked you to do this. You are doing this for Me. Stop feeling guilty!" And, so I did.

Finally, my coding was done, the blog was up, buttons were made, and the blog roll was launched. I watched my email inbox for sign ups, and though I got a couple, it was very slow going.

I doubted myself and the blog roll. "This was foolish," I said one night at the computer. Of course, my attitude was quickly met by the voice, "BE PATIENT! You NEED to trust in what you were called to do."

I will admit that I still wasn't patient. But, then, emails started flooding in. I was shocked. People I didn't know saw the blog roll on someone's blog that I also didn't know, and wanted to sign up.

I got so many emails of people who were excited about the blog roll. Women who thanked me for starting it. Women who said that finding out about the blog roll was an answer to their prayers. And, every time, I was humbled. I had been so untrusting about this, and something so wonderful was created that has spoken to so many people and helped to form new friendships and a new community.

And, so less than a year later and numbering over 300 blogs on the blog roll, I thank God that I was asked to be part of this. What a beautiful experience it has been so far!